Every morning, I drive the hobbit to school before proceeding to work. It is a brief drive. The hobbit is full of quirky 9 year old boy advice, questions, and observations. This is the norm. However, morning drive time usually puts him in full on Logieism mode. After the put your shoes on, comb your hair, and brush your teeth battle is over, the hobbit is fully awake and in conversation mode. The conversations range. Some days he complains about my music. Often he tries to invent reasons that school should be cancelled like it is foggy, it is raining, and he is tired. This week he has been in super Logie mode.
Hobbit: Why does school exist?
Me: So you can learn.
Hobbit: School is stupid. I don’t want to go.
Me: I don’t either.
Hobbit: It is raining. Why do we not have late arrival?
Me: It is just rain.
Hobbit: Did you check to see if we have late arrival?
Me: I did.
Hobbit: Double check.
Me : I did
Hobbit: Triple check.
Me: You have to go to school and at the correct time.
Hobbit: Okay, Love you. See you this afternoon.
Hobbit: Do you melt when you get water on you?
Me: Ummm, I am not the Wicked Witch.
Hobbit: You are a witch – right?
Me: Have you been talking to one of my students? I am not a witch. I wish I was magic. All witches don’t melt. It depends on the story or legend.
Hobbit: Yes, they do.
Hobbit: The ones in Oz do.
Me: The Wicked Witch of the West melted. I don’t know if the others melt.
Hobbit: What about the one of the East?
Me: Dorothy dropped a house on her so we don’t know.
Hobbit: What about the witches of the North and the South?
Me: The Witch of the North and South are not wicked. Well, it depends on which version, but not in the original version.
Me : The author wrote it that way. Some witches are good and some are wicked.
Hobbit: Research that for me. Love you. Bye.
Hobbit: loud and smelly fart that he has held until we are in the car.
Me: Did you really just fart on me?
Hobbit while smiling: It was not on you. It was behind you.
Me: It was a rhetorical question Mr. Literal. I will rephrase. Did you just fart?
Hobbit with a giggle and a smile: Yep. It was a good one.
Boys! Everyone needs at least one or two.