A not so long time ago, in this galaxy, there was a woman who was sleeping restlessly in a small, crowded house. When in the wee hours of the morning, came the distinct opening song to Star Wars- followed by the voice of none other than the one of the greatest movie villains of all time, Darth Vader.

Yes, the woman is me. No, I am not a Star Wars geek that has finally went over the deep end. Darth Vader did speak to me with James Earl Jones voice in the middle of the night. He said, “Impressive- most impressive, but you are not a jedi yet.” I said, “Why the hell is my child’s Darth Vader bank talking to me in the middle of the night?” 

     I stumbled out of bed to investigate. My husband and son were still sleeping soundly. I assumed that the cat had somehow aroused Mr. Jones to speak. I returned to bed, and drifted into a light sleep. My slumber once again was interrupted by the dum, dum, dee, dum of the Star Wars theme. Vader/ Jones was speaking to me again.

  At this point, I stumbled out of bed to address the cat for her misbehavior. Only I found that she, too, was sleeping soundly. That left me and Vader/ Jones the only ones awake. So, I once again investigated the bank for an explanation for Vader’s insistence that I am not a jedi yet. It took only a light touch to provoke Vader to speak this time. His words then stirred my seven year old son. He looked up at me and said, “Mommy, stop playing with that. I am trying to sleep.” 

     I removed Vader to another room, so as not to get in anymore trouble for playing in the middle of the night. He had now started a continuous loop of the song, message, slash of a light saber, and then would start all over with the song. I stopped -almost to the door- remembering myself. I almost threw him in the yard. I shook him hard. He decided to shut up.

Vader/ James only spoke to me once more that faithful night. He did not rouse again till morning. He spoke to my husband this time. He replied by removing his batteries. Why didn’t I think of that?

Poor Vader, he just wanted to make sure that I knew that I was not a jedi yet, or maybe he just had a short.